No joy

The other day I needed a "comfort skirt" and found, at the depths of the wardrobe, one that I haven't worn in almost ten years. It's a bit small for me now, and some of the patchwork panels have gone skewiff after so much wearing and washing, but it's one item I didn't feel ready to throw out in the recent "does it spark joy?" clean up adventure. So, I put the skirt on and we spent a comforting day together.

The skirt and I in our heyday!

The skirt got me thinking about Marie Kondo in a broader sense. Some of her principles for household clear outs could be applied to our social networks too. At a time when its possible to become "friends" with someone we hardly know, and then to "de-friend" or "ghost" someone we have come to know quite well, I wonder if we're as intentional about the contents of our social wardrobe as we are about our regular wardrobe. Have we become a "throw away society" when it comes to some people? And a hoarder when it comes to others? Sometimes it's good for the soul to part with those relationships that no longer spark joy, but do we take the time to properly thank folk who've drifted out of our lives?

Not long after the recent election I was surreptitiously de-friended by a family member. Apart from not knowing how this will play out at a future family get-together, if indeed there are any more, I am disappointed that there was no explanation (although I can guess what it's to do with), no farewell, and no gracious recognition of happier times that we've shared.

So, as I contemplate the future for pre-loved outfits and friends, I realise it's not too late, for me at least, to do this right. As I carefully fold the skirt, I remember the day I bought it, at a market in Freemantle. A friend selected a slightly different one for herself, and we delightedly compared notes for a while afterwards. I remember that I was wearing it when I met my ex for the first time. He said that the corduroy was a giveaway of my hippy tendencies!! The same tendencies that, ironically, are not appreciated by all.

And I remember an outing - just the two of us - when I was about 5. I think there was ice cream involved, a walk along the beach and a child-like wonder at the world. And when, sitting on Grandma’s back porch as a twenty-something, I was told in conspiratorial tones about a first crush. I’ll treasure those memories.

So, while people and garments will continue to come and go from my life, I'll always have the memories. Each one has a special place in my heart, even if one of us has outgrown the other or there's hurt and disappointment still in the air.

And so with those sentiments in mind, I'm now headed to the op shop. I'll be dropping off a bag with a few memories inside. I hope that the skewiff patchwork corduroy skirt will spark joy and create new memories for someone else for many years to come.